This weekend I was in N.C. visiting my brothers, whom I haven’t seen in 10 to 15yrs. It’s a new beginning for us because our parents/guardians, finances, law enforcement, anyone nor anything is hindering us from uniting. There was an emptiness in me that wasn’t being fulfilled by my job, my spouse, or even God. That emptiness/void was the love of my brothers.
One of the last times I saw my brothers was at our father’s funeral. It was also the first time I met one of my brothers & his children. Sad but true. We vowed to stay in touch & see each other often. We saw was each other twice within the years that followed.
It was hard for me because I grew up an only child & I honestly didn’t trust them because I didn’t know them. My mother died when I was little & our father wasn’t around for me. So, I didn’t trust their intention in my life & I didn’t expect them to stay in my life or want me in their lives. I’ve always felt alone in this world, as if there was no one I could really connect with. This weekend changed everything!
I saw my nieces & how much one of them looks like me, is quiet, & friendly. They are both super smart like their aunt. One is short like me, keeps a journal, & loves to laugh (loud) just like me. Being around my brothers was therapeutic. To actually “see” our similarities, where I get my smile, my smart mouth, and my funny side was/is amazing. Now I see why I was told
you must be adopted because you’re nothing like us
by a family member on my mother’s side. I adore both sides of my family! I look like my mother’s side of the family but personality wise I’m not like them, I take after my father’s side of the family & that’s ok!
I’ve found what makes me who I am. The final ingredients to the recipe of my life…LOVE! No matter who it comes from, love can heal ALL wounds. Love should begin and end your day because everything you do, should be done out of LOVE!
I don’t feel like an outsider or unwanted anymore, now I feel whole/complete. I can conquer the world with a…