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MY Way. Your Way.

I am the type of person that respects everyone for who they are, what they are… everything about them. If I don’t like what you do, who you do, or anything of that nature, that’s none of my business unless it brings harm to myself or my loved ones.  With that being said, your sexuality who you lay down with at night, who you wake up to in the morning, has no bearing on me. I have no right to tell you who to love, what to love, and how to love. If that’s who you love, if that’s what you love, and that’s how you love it, so be it, enjoy yourself.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend, I was telling them that during the holidays I don’t do well.  I get depressed & it’s just not a good time for me.  They proceeded to ask me why then says, “Oh never mind, I know why.”  Silly me, I thought they knew I was sad because my parents are deceased. Well, that wasn’t the case.

They proceed to tell me that my problem is that I am in conflict with myself as to what is right and wrong in God’s eyes. I said “excuse me I don’t follow you, I’m not understanding what you’re talking about.”  I guess it caught me of guard because I didn’t see our conversation taking this turn.   They go on to say that my lifestyle is an abomination in God’s eyes and that I need to change and pretty much getting in a relationship with a man and get married!  A few months ago this same friend & I had a discussion about what the Bible said, what they believed, & they told me that they love me despite being a lesbian.  So, this “change of heart” caught me of guard.

I’ve been gay all my life, that’s been no secret to myself & since I decided to be true to myself (come out of the closet) I’m able to see the beauty of life.  I believe it was harder for everyone around me to accept the truth because, as far as they knew, I LOVED men.  Hell, I was even engaged to a man!

I’ve grown up in the church all my life, I have a relationship with God, I’m at peace with who I am as a lesbian, & as a person  over all. Everything is good, I’m in a solid relationship, I’m happy, successful, & I have everything that I need and have always wanted.  How can God hate a relationship where I am striving for the best, I am healthy and happy, how can he hate that?


I’m a very nice person, really I am, I have a good heart but when you push me to the edge I don’t jump off, I come back swinging!  So, I let my friend know that I understand their views and I respect their views but I will not allow them to judge me & pick me apart because they have an issue with how I live MY life. These “Christians” who have conflicts with Who I am, that is their problem, not mine!  I’m good over here.  They need to work on their issues & not  worry about what’s going on in my household!  Now, if someone wants to be in my life, & I allow them to be in my life, they need to understand I will not stand for ridicule, nor will I stand for being under a microscope because they think I’m in conflict.  What’s going on in my life has nothing to do with their belief system.





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Why I salute the military!

Happy Veterans Day to our beautiful men and women of the military!

I never had a true respect or understanding for the military until I started working with senior citizens who were retired veterans.  These old people always wanted to play the piano and sing old patriotic songs.  For years, every Friday in the facility I work, the residents wore red for the soldiers.  EVERY FREAKING FRIDAY!  I thought I was bleeding there was so much red on Fridays!  Red shirts, red shoes, red hats, red hair, and red draws (underwear)!  Where did they get all this red?  I currently own five red pieces of clothing, a pair of red socks, one pair of panties, one red gown, and two red t-shirts.  That’s all I have!

One day, after we had just finished an activity, I asked a group of residents why they were so patriotic.  They asked me what I meant.  I explained to them that growing up no one in my family was active military.  I had a friend whose uncle was in the army and my uncle was in the army for 31 days but could not go further because of his eyesight.  I currently have a nephew in the military but that’s it!  I grew up in a small town in South Carolina but now I live in a military town, meaning there is a full fledge army base here.  EVERYBODY in this town is in the military, is a military brat or is married/related to someone in the military.  It’s pretty serious around here.  The group of residents explained that they survived the Great Depression and have seen war after war.  Boys becoming Soldiers, housewives becoming mechanics, and the rich become poor.  They saw it all and the one thing that kept the country going was everyone working together.  While the soldiers were away fighting for everyone’s rights, their sisters, wives, and mothers were home fighting to keep the country and economy running.

After that talk, my eyes were opened and I saw America and the military differently.  Today at work, we had our annual Veterans Day luncheon to honor our residents for their service in the military.  Each resident was allowed to say a few words about their time in the military and what it mean to them to serve their country.  It was a very humbling experience to listen to two ninety plus year old men recall their duties during WWII with such clarity as if it were just yesterday but struggle day-to-day with things we take for granted.  Things such as having the strength to stand long enough to shower,  shave their face without their hand shaking, and remembering how to tell time.  These are OUR men and women, OUR soldiers.  They were once someone’s baby, someone’s husband or wife, and they are someone’s father or mother.  How dare we leave them hungry, cold, and begging for help.

They gave up everything they knew and loved to serve this country.  Choosing to go into the military is such a selfless act.  Today I took a few minutes to speak to all of the residents directly from my heart.  I shared with them the love and respect I grew for soldiers by listening to their stories of heroism but to them it was just “what needed to be done”.  The military isn’t just about fighting wars, protecting boards, etc.  It’s about turning someone’s little boy or girl into a human being.  Teaching them to have love and respect for others regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or financial status.  As well as teaching them to love, respect and believe in his/herself.  For someone who has never seen me, never spoken or heard my name before, risk their life for me makes me proud to be an American.  For this, I salute the military!