Posted in life, Uncategorized

My Life Matters


Do all lives really matter?  Of course they do!  That’s a stupid question.  The question should be, do some lives matter more than others?  No one wants to answer this question.  It’s like saying if  both of your parents are in a sinking boat, you can only save one, which one do you choose?  WTF?  Often people will refuse to answer this question because you don’t want to offend anyone but if indeed this happened, you would have to choose one or let them both drown.

It’s the same thing today with Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter, My Life Matters and so does yours.  We all know this.  So, why must we keep having this stupid debate.  What you are passionate about may not be what I’m passionate about.  I don’t care about that lion that got killed by the dentist in Africa that had America in an uproar but I do care about the homeless that people ignore everyday.  They are both very important issues but one issue is more pressing than the other.

We have a new civil rights era among us and all we can argue about is lingo?  People are dying at an alarming rate at the hands of the police and America is upset about a phrase?  Are you serious?  More specifically, minorities are dying at an alarming rate by the hands of the people who took an oath to protect and serve.  Minorities are those that are not caucasian (white) men.  If you’re not a white man you are a minority, welcome to the club.

I have always been a person who respects another for the content of their character and not the color of their skin nor the size of their bank account.  I grew up in a small town in South Carolina where there were only five black children in the whole fifth grade, If I remember correctly.

Growing up in the south my family prepared us for racism.  Don’t go anywhere at night alone.  If someone white calls you a nigger don’t react because they’re trying to get you to act like a nigger.  Lastly, don’t ever forget that you’re black and they’re white.  Being who I am the last one was stupid to me, especially as a child.  As I got older, I realized that all of these things were true.

I continued to make friends with many different people over the years but I never forgot that I was black because the truth is America will never let me forget.  I’m reminded of my blackness every time someone comes to my place of business, who has never seen me, asks for me and when I come around the corner the look of shock on their face because they were expecting a white woman.  I knew there was a reason my mama didn’t give me a “black” name, she wanted me to shock the world.

I’m reminded when I go into a store and the salesperson asks the white woman standing next to me if she needs anything but won’t even look at me.  I’m reminded I’m black when I get pulled over and the office calls me “girl” and there are three other cop cars there.  I’m reminded that I’m black every time I look in the mirror and I see my beautiful chocolate skin, full lips, and my naturally big butt.  The world will not make me feel like less of human being because you don’t like me or my people.  My people’s blood, sweat, and tears are in this land.  I am black and I am damn proud.

The next time you hear me scream BLACK LIVES MATTER don’t interrupt me to have a discussion about all lives matter.  I don’t want to hear that.  I say BLACK LIVES MATTER because I’m black, I’m proud, and MY LIFE MATTERS just as much as yours!



Posted in food, Health and Fitness, life, Uncategorized

I’m Tired of Being Fat!


I am sick and tired of being FAT!  I’m sick of not feeling attractive, to myself!  When I look in the mirror I want to look like a woman my spouse would be proud to walk down the street with.  She has always told me I’m beautiful and she has no problem with my weight.  It’s not like I was skinny when she met me.  The problem is ME!  I have a problem with MY weight.  So what do I do about it, because whining isn’t working?

January 3rd 2016, I set out on a LIFESTYLE change.  I don’t like to say diet because I have never stuck to one.  So, if I change my lifestyle, I won’t need a diet.  I won’t need a diet because eating healthier & working out will be a way of life for me.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?!  According to , a habit is an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.

By changing my habits I don’t have to struggle with staying on a diet or drag myself to the gym when I really don’t want to be there.  My wants/needs will  change automatically. It’s like writing your name, you’ve done it so many times you don’t have to think about it.  You just do it!  If you get in the habit of making healthy choices it becomes part of your life, it’s not a habit anymore.

Here are a few things I have changed.

  1. I drink water instead of sugar filled beverages.
  2. I refuse to give up my morning coffee. So, I use Splenda instead of sugar.
  3. When grocery shopping, I don’t go hungry.  If you go to the store hungry, you’re more likely to pick up a candy bar than an apple.
  4. I cook every night instead of going out to eat.  It is easier in the beginning stages of your lifestyle change to eat healthy at home because if you go out to eat and start looking at all those delicious burgers and fries, you are going to order one and feel guilty later.
  5. My workout is in my daily routine.  Everyday when I get home from work, I use the bathroom, change into my workout clothes and head to the living room for my workout session.  EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I’m going in to the third month of my lifestyle change and it is going great!  I have lost 21 pounds and counting.  I honestly don’t think about the changes my family and I have made because it is a part of our everyday lives.  I can enjoy my coffee, go grocery shopping and not make impulsive decisions, when I go out to eat I instantly look for the healthy section on the menu, and I love working out!  Working out allows me to burn off the stress of my day because I make it fun.  I may play Just Dance on the Wii or do Yoga.

I’ve learned what is working for me and against me in my life.  I remind myself that whatever I choose to eat now, I have to work off when I get home.  Make it easy on yourself.  Each individual has to make the decision in their own life as to what is important to them.  My health is important to me, that’s why I changed my lifestyle.  I’m tired of being fat but I’m enjoying being healthy!



Posted in Uncategorized

Take A Day Off


                  January 28, 2016

I really don’t feel like doing anything today.  It’s chilly outside & it’s pouring down rain.  I just want to curl up in my bed with my love & my coffee. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it?

Well, truthfully, I can’t afford to do those things.  The bills have to get paid & if I don’t go to work how will they get paid?  Relax!  It’s ok to take a day off, trust me!  I’m guilty of never taking a day off.  I feel as though the work won’t get done unless I’m there.  I’m right, it doesn’t! That’s not my problem.

If you are sick, tired, or just want a day off… take it!   Most companies offer PTO, Paid Time Off.  Which means you have WORKED for this time.  YOU’VE EARNED IT!  Don’t feel guilty about taking a day off.  If you die today, that company will not shut its doors.  It will continue on as if you never existed!


Posted in Uncategorized

No Matter What!

Today is Wednesday January 27, 2016!   Every morning before I open my eyes, I give thanks for another day.  Another day to wake up next to the love of my life.  Another day on his earth.

Before I hop in the shower I have to set my music for the day.  My music choice sets the mood for my day.  If I’m feeling peaceful, I play gospel music.  If I’m feeling sexy, I play some R & B, Freddie Jackson, Beyonce, Anita Baker, you know…the greatest.  This morning was none of that! This morning I had to put on some hustle music! I turned on Pandora & went straight for my DJ Khaled station.  The first song, All I Do Is Win!  PERFECT!

No matter what, I will have a great day.  No matter what I will smile! No matter what I will succeed!




  Photo courtesy of            

Posted in Politics, Uncategorized

Top 5 Reasons I Hate Politics

Maybe hate is a strong word…maybe not!  I have always had trouble in my history/political classes because it was so darn boring.  it’s the same thing over and over again.  We elect someone and expect our lives to miraculously get better over night.  Every individual expects the one they voted for to win and fix ALL their problems.  Poor saps.

Alright here we go, my top five reasons I hate Politics!


5. It sounds like a foreign language to me. All of those big useless words put into play. For example; Caucus, Demagogue, Gerrymander. Then there are other words or phrases that are just so silly you know a hill billy named Cleofus came up with them and you’re trying to figure out their gibberish. Words like, Pork Barrel, Rubber Chicken Circuit, and Smoke Filled Room. Seriously?


4. Everyone is lying! Maybe this should have been number one on my list! Every politician from someone running for class president to P.O.T.U.S. has told us exactly what we wanted to hear to get our vote. “I’ll get you French fries for breakfast EVERYDAY” or “Read my lips, No New Taxes”! We’ve all fallen for those slick words a time or two because deep down we really want to believe them but…


3. Only the rich can afford to run for an office. Broke people only know other broke people. That’s why the government has designed different social classes, to keep everyone in their place. Think about it! Why is education so expensive? Why is it cheaper to eat a cheeseburger rather than grilled chicken and vegetables? Why is it practically free to live in the “ghetto” but if go to another county five minutes away with the “better” schools, textbooks for every child, and any restaurant of my choice, I’ll have to work three jobs to afford a home there?

The O’Jays said it best;

“People will lie, Lord, they will cheat For the love of money People don’t care who they hurt or beat For the love of money”

pres candidates

2. There are too many people running for office. According to, there are eighteen people running for P.O.T.U.S in 2016. There are twelve Republicans, three Democrats, and three 3rd Party. I know there will be early voting to determine who will officially be on the final ballot but seriously, eighteen candidates? That’s not even the original count! A lot of people have dropped out of the race! If you need more understanding on how the election process works check out this link, The Presidential Election: How It Works | Librarypoint.

The number one reason why I hate politics… scapegoat

1. In the end it really doesn’t matter who wins. It doesn’t matter who wins the presidential election because congress controls everything. If the president passes a bill, congress has the power to veto that bill, “nah ah Mr. /Madam President, not today.”! You always hear people saying if you don’t like the way things are being run in your town or state call your congressman/woman. No one ever says “call your president”! The president is just the scapegoat. If something goes horribly wrong they just blame him or her, impeach that one and move on to whoever’s next in line to play the dummy.

I can respect anyone who truly wants to change the world into a better place and cares for ALL the citizens of this country. For the others, may God have mercy on you!



Posted in Uncategorized

MY Way. Your Way.

I am the type of person that respects everyone for who they are, what they are… everything about them. If I don’t like what you do, who you do, or anything of that nature, that’s none of my business unless it brings harm to myself or my loved ones.  With that being said, your sexuality who you lay down with at night, who you wake up to in the morning, has no bearing on me. I have no right to tell you who to love, what to love, and how to love. If that’s who you love, if that’s what you love, and that’s how you love it, so be it, enjoy yourself.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend, I was telling them that during the holidays I don’t do well.  I get depressed & it’s just not a good time for me.  They proceeded to ask me why then says, “Oh never mind, I know why.”  Silly me, I thought they knew I was sad because my parents are deceased. Well, that wasn’t the case.

They proceed to tell me that my problem is that I am in conflict with myself as to what is right and wrong in God’s eyes. I said “excuse me I don’t follow you, I’m not understanding what you’re talking about.”  I guess it caught me of guard because I didn’t see our conversation taking this turn.   They go on to say that my lifestyle is an abomination in God’s eyes and that I need to change and pretty much getting in a relationship with a man and get married!  A few months ago this same friend & I had a discussion about what the Bible said, what they believed, & they told me that they love me despite being a lesbian.  So, this “change of heart” caught me of guard.

I’ve been gay all my life, that’s been no secret to myself & since I decided to be true to myself (come out of the closet) I’m able to see the beauty of life.  I believe it was harder for everyone around me to accept the truth because, as far as they knew, I LOVED men.  Hell, I was even engaged to a man!

I’ve grown up in the church all my life, I have a relationship with God, I’m at peace with who I am as a lesbian, & as a person  over all. Everything is good, I’m in a solid relationship, I’m happy, successful, & I have everything that I need and have always wanted.  How can God hate a relationship where I am striving for the best, I am healthy and happy, how can he hate that?


I’m a very nice person, really I am, I have a good heart but when you push me to the edge I don’t jump off, I come back swinging!  So, I let my friend know that I understand their views and I respect their views but I will not allow them to judge me & pick me apart because they have an issue with how I live MY life. These “Christians” who have conflicts with Who I am, that is their problem, not mine!  I’m good over here.  They need to work on their issues & not  worry about what’s going on in my household!  Now, if someone wants to be in my life, & I allow them to be in my life, they need to understand I will not stand for ridicule, nor will I stand for being under a microscope because they think I’m in conflict.  What’s going on in my life has nothing to do with their belief system.





Posted in Uncategorized

Why I salute the military!

Happy Veterans Day to our beautiful men and women of the military!

I never had a true respect or understanding for the military until I started working with senior citizens who were retired veterans.  These old people always wanted to play the piano and sing old patriotic songs.  For years, every Friday in the facility I work, the residents wore red for the soldiers.  EVERY FREAKING FRIDAY!  I thought I was bleeding there was so much red on Fridays!  Red shirts, red shoes, red hats, red hair, and red draws (underwear)!  Where did they get all this red?  I currently own five red pieces of clothing, a pair of red socks, one pair of panties, one red gown, and two red t-shirts.  That’s all I have!

One day, after we had just finished an activity, I asked a group of residents why they were so patriotic.  They asked me what I meant.  I explained to them that growing up no one in my family was active military.  I had a friend whose uncle was in the army and my uncle was in the army for 31 days but could not go further because of his eyesight.  I currently have a nephew in the military but that’s it!  I grew up in a small town in South Carolina but now I live in a military town, meaning there is a full fledge army base here.  EVERYBODY in this town is in the military, is a military brat or is married/related to someone in the military.  It’s pretty serious around here.  The group of residents explained that they survived the Great Depression and have seen war after war.  Boys becoming Soldiers, housewives becoming mechanics, and the rich become poor.  They saw it all and the one thing that kept the country going was everyone working together.  While the soldiers were away fighting for everyone’s rights, their sisters, wives, and mothers were home fighting to keep the country and economy running.

After that talk, my eyes were opened and I saw America and the military differently.  Today at work, we had our annual Veterans Day luncheon to honor our residents for their service in the military.  Each resident was allowed to say a few words about their time in the military and what it mean to them to serve their country.  It was a very humbling experience to listen to two ninety plus year old men recall their duties during WWII with such clarity as if it were just yesterday but struggle day-to-day with things we take for granted.  Things such as having the strength to stand long enough to shower,  shave their face without their hand shaking, and remembering how to tell time.  These are OUR men and women, OUR soldiers.  They were once someone’s baby, someone’s husband or wife, and they are someone’s father or mother.  How dare we leave them hungry, cold, and begging for help.

They gave up everything they knew and loved to serve this country.  Choosing to go into the military is such a selfless act.  Today I took a few minutes to speak to all of the residents directly from my heart.  I shared with them the love and respect I grew for soldiers by listening to their stories of heroism but to them it was just “what needed to be done”.  The military isn’t just about fighting wars, protecting boards, etc.  It’s about turning someone’s little boy or girl into a human being.  Teaching them to have love and respect for others regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or financial status.  As well as teaching them to love, respect and believe in his/herself.  For someone who has never seen me, never spoken or heard my name before, risk their life for me makes me proud to be an American.  For this, I salute the military!