Posted in At the Office

Never Touch A Black Woman’s Purse!

Madea

I’ve always been taught that a lady should carry a purse & never put your purse on the floor because you will lose money.   Also, a woman’s purse says a lot about her.  You can tell a lot about a woman’s struggle by the condition of her purse.  If her purse is ragged, tattered, torn, & cluttered inside, she may be going through a few things personally or financially. If her purse is pretty much in tact and organized, she has her #### together.  What about the women who carry designer bags?  Two things, they love a good strong bag & have a few coins, or it’s a knockoff & they’re fronting for other women.  (Sips tea)

I’ve never fit the mold & in this situation, I still don’t.  I love designer bags because it’s the quality I’m paying for.  Not because Nicki Minaj wrote a verse in a song.  (Insert shade here)  I can’t stand a knockoff because I don’t pretend to be something/someone I’m not.  (More shade please)  My bags are neatly organized because I have a touch of OCD.  Seriously, I’ve gotten better over the years.

At work one day, I sat my purse in an empty chair in a room with five chairs, only two being occupied.  I turned around in the room to do something & when I turned back around my purse was gone!  I took a few deep breaths, said a prayer, turned away then, turned around again to make sure my eyes didn’t play a trick on me.  Sure enough, it wasn’t there!  I noticed that someone was sitting in the chair that I placed my purse in a few moments ago.

I asked everyone in the room if they had seen my purse because I knew I came in the room with it & where I sat it down.  Two of the ladies pointed to the floor!  (Insert blood pressure here)  A fool had come in the office & sat in my purse chair!  She picks him (Depending on the brand my purse takes on that gender) up off the floor & says oh here you go!  Bitch!!!  Have you lost your ####### mind?

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Ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls, nieces & nephews, I had to let the heffa know that she must NEVER TOUCH A BLACK WOMAN’S PURSE!  I kept it 50% professional & 50% I will beat yo ass-nal!  When she handed me my purse I immediately asked her if she had lost her #### mind.  As I’m talking to her about the importance of the situation she hit me with the, “yeah, yeah I know!”  (Place hand on hip here & lean to the left)

I say the following,

  1. Don’t ever cut me off when I’m speaking like I’m a child or I’m invalid!
  2. Do you see this label?  It does not say Dollar Barn.  (No shade) I paid good money for this purse.  
  3. It is disrespectful, on so many levels to touch, let alone move, any woman’s purse.
  4. Last but not least,  I WILL drag your ###!

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As I walked away I could hear her telling the other ladies that she will never touch any woman’s purse ever again!  She said she didn’t even want to touch her own purse.  (I don’t blame her)

Hopefully this will help to educate the world about the importance to Never Touch A Black Woman’s Purse!

~SMILE~

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