Posted in Self Help

Be Your Own Voice of Reason

There is a quote by Maya Angelou that says, “when you know better you do better.”  I somewhat agree with this quote.  I like to say, when you know better you SHOULD do better.  Most of the time we know better but we don’t always do better.  This is when we need to exercise our own voice of reason.

I had a conversation with a friend recently about her life and she told me one day it just hit her that something she had been putting off for years was going to happen this year because SHE decided it was going to happen.  No one TOLD her to do it or gave it to her on a silver platter.  SHE decided it was time because SHE realized she was holding herself back.  She knew she could do better therefore, she did!

Most of the time you will hear the voice of reason called different names.  Names like, intuition, the voice of God, and even “something”, as in “something told me”.  Whatever you call “IT”, follow IT!

Just yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting a young lady, of whom I knew nothing about, who began to tell me her story and how she wanted to know why she kept making the same mistakes over and over again.  I told her it was because she hadn’t learned the lesson.  She took the quiz but she kept failing because she wasn’t studying.  Every time I would give her a solution to one of her issues she would say yeah but…  I told her she was her downfall because she did not TRUST herself.  She got the warning sign before she approached danger but she didn’t LISTEN to her voice of reason.  She went into situation, relationship, and financial agreement one after the other ignoring her own voice.

We do not have to keep doing this to ourselves.  We can stop and make better decisions before the regrets, broken hearts, and feelings of failure if we just trust that loud but silenced voice or feeling inside of us.  Sometimes we can get a clue from someone else without them even knowing they have triggered something in us.  How many times have you purchased something because you saw an advertisement for it?  Treat your voice of reason the same way.  Don’t think about it, just listen to it, and follow it! 

Be Your Own Voice of Reason



Posted in life

What happened to Thanksgiving? 

As long as I’ve been alive there has always been twelve months in a year. This year I think we eleminated one, November. We went from sunflowers in September, Pumpkins & Halloween in October, to Santa Claus & Jingle Bells in December. 
What happened to November?   WHAT HAPPENED TO THANKSGIVING?

I remember being in the store in October, seeing Halloween candy, costumes, and fall decor. As soon as November 1st came, the Christmas season started.  It upset me because I’m a very thankful person. I’m appreciative of my life, the people in my life, and the things I have.  Although I give thanks all year, “society” waits until November to appreciate & give thanks. 

In a world of selfies, self-love, self-identity, me, myself, and I; we NEED November! We NEED Thanksgiving! This world is in trouble and the last thing we need to do is take away humility! We took away prayer/moment of silence in schools. Now we’re going eliminate being thankful. 

Well not me! I’m thankful on Thanksgiving for life, health, & love. Every day I’m thankful but today I want to share those things with those I don’t see often. I want to put on my best outfit, eat my favorite foods & laugh until I cry. 

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! 

Posted in life

Invest in yourself, BEFORE you invest in someone else!

I am a bonafide cheerleader for any and everyone.  If you are doing something great, I am there to cheer you on to the moon and farther.  Don’t ask me to help you or include me in what you’re doing, I will stop my projects so fast you will hear the brakes squealing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping others but DO NOT forget your goals and aspirations.  I am so guilty of putting my goals on pause, helping someone else succeed with their goal and there I go back to dust my goals off and pick up where I left off.  I am the typical big hearted sap.  I love helping people but I don’t like not getting the same in return.goodness

Here’s what I’ve realized, people will NOT do the same for you as you have for them.  Do NOT expect people to say or do the same thing you would do!  Just because I would give you the shirt of my back, doesn’t mean you are willing to do the same for me or anyone else.  I have come to accept that and I can respect it.  If more people live by this rule I believe there will be less broken hearts, disappointment, and stress in our lives.

I am fortunate that I have realized this before I make this mistake for the five millionth time.


Posted in Uncategorized

MY Way. Your Way.

I am the type of person that respects everyone for who they are, what they are… everything about them. If I don’t like what you do, who you do, or anything of that nature, that’s none of my business unless it brings harm to myself or my loved ones.  With that being said, your sexuality who you lay down with at night, who you wake up to in the morning, has no bearing on me. I have no right to tell you who to love, what to love, and how to love. If that’s who you love, if that’s what you love, and that’s how you love it, so be it, enjoy yourself.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend, I was telling them that during the holidays I don’t do well.  I get depressed & it’s just not a good time for me.  They proceeded to ask me why then says, “Oh never mind, I know why.”  Silly me, I thought they knew I was sad because my parents are deceased. Well, that wasn’t the case.

They proceed to tell me that my problem is that I am in conflict with myself as to what is right and wrong in God’s eyes. I said “excuse me I don’t follow you, I’m not understanding what you’re talking about.”  I guess it caught me of guard because I didn’t see our conversation taking this turn.   They go on to say that my lifestyle is an abomination in God’s eyes and that I need to change and pretty much getting in a relationship with a man and get married!  A few months ago this same friend & I had a discussion about what the Bible said, what they believed, & they told me that they love me despite being a lesbian.  So, this “change of heart” caught me of guard.

I’ve been gay all my life, that’s been no secret to myself & since I decided to be true to myself (come out of the closet) I’m able to see the beauty of life.  I believe it was harder for everyone around me to accept the truth because, as far as they knew, I LOVED men.  Hell, I was even engaged to a man!

I’ve grown up in the church all my life, I have a relationship with God, I’m at peace with who I am as a lesbian, & as a person  over all. Everything is good, I’m in a solid relationship, I’m happy, successful, & I have everything that I need and have always wanted.  How can God hate a relationship where I am striving for the best, I am healthy and happy, how can he hate that?


I’m a very nice person, really I am, I have a good heart but when you push me to the edge I don’t jump off, I come back swinging!  So, I let my friend know that I understand their views and I respect their views but I will not allow them to judge me & pick me apart because they have an issue with how I live MY life. These “Christians” who have conflicts with Who I am, that is their problem, not mine!  I’m good over here.  They need to work on their issues & not  worry about what’s going on in my household!  Now, if someone wants to be in my life, & I allow them to be in my life, they need to understand I will not stand for ridicule, nor will I stand for being under a microscope because they think I’m in conflict.  What’s going on in my life has nothing to do with their belief system.





Posted in Uncategorized

Why I salute the military!

Happy Veterans Day to our beautiful men and women of the military!

I never had a true respect or understanding for the military until I started working with senior citizens who were retired veterans.  These old people always wanted to play the piano and sing old patriotic songs.  For years, every Friday in the facility I work, the residents wore red for the soldiers.  EVERY FREAKING FRIDAY!  I thought I was bleeding there was so much red on Fridays!  Red shirts, red shoes, red hats, red hair, and red draws (underwear)!  Where did they get all this red?  I currently own five red pieces of clothing, a pair of red socks, one pair of panties, one red gown, and two red t-shirts.  That’s all I have!

One day, after we had just finished an activity, I asked a group of residents why they were so patriotic.  They asked me what I meant.  I explained to them that growing up no one in my family was active military.  I had a friend whose uncle was in the army and my uncle was in the army for 31 days but could not go further because of his eyesight.  I currently have a nephew in the military but that’s it!  I grew up in a small town in South Carolina but now I live in a military town, meaning there is a full fledge army base here.  EVERYBODY in this town is in the military, is a military brat or is married/related to someone in the military.  It’s pretty serious around here.  The group of residents explained that they survived the Great Depression and have seen war after war.  Boys becoming Soldiers, housewives becoming mechanics, and the rich become poor.  They saw it all and the one thing that kept the country going was everyone working together.  While the soldiers were away fighting for everyone’s rights, their sisters, wives, and mothers were home fighting to keep the country and economy running.

After that talk, my eyes were opened and I saw America and the military differently.  Today at work, we had our annual Veterans Day luncheon to honor our residents for their service in the military.  Each resident was allowed to say a few words about their time in the military and what it mean to them to serve their country.  It was a very humbling experience to listen to two ninety plus year old men recall their duties during WWII with such clarity as if it were just yesterday but struggle day-to-day with things we take for granted.  Things such as having the strength to stand long enough to shower,  shave their face without their hand shaking, and remembering how to tell time.  These are OUR men and women, OUR soldiers.  They were once someone’s baby, someone’s husband or wife, and they are someone’s father or mother.  How dare we leave them hungry, cold, and begging for help.

They gave up everything they knew and loved to serve this country.  Choosing to go into the military is such a selfless act.  Today I took a few minutes to speak to all of the residents directly from my heart.  I shared with them the love and respect I grew for soldiers by listening to their stories of heroism but to them it was just “what needed to be done”.  The military isn’t just about fighting wars, protecting boards, etc.  It’s about turning someone’s little boy or girl into a human being.  Teaching them to have love and respect for others regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or financial status.  As well as teaching them to love, respect and believe in his/herself.  For someone who has never seen me, never spoken or heard my name before, risk their life for me makes me proud to be an American.  For this, I salute the military!