Posted in belief, Law of Attraction, life

I Demand My Blessing

An abundance of situations have come to shake my foundation but I have managed to  keep the faith & a smile on my face.

Well, one day last week I’d had Enough!  My apartment complex has been sold & all the tenants have to move before the their lease is up.  I’ve been searching for a place for my family for months.  99% of the places I contacted I got “I’m sorry, we just rented that house”, “That home is no longer available”, or they want you to have A1 credit to RENT, not buy!

The search was stressing me out so bad that I couldn’t concentrate at work, on my workout, and I wasn’t getting any sleep.  I told my beautiful, caring, & sweetest wife ever, that I couldn’t do it anymore.  I was so frustrated I started catching an attitude with her & that’s something we don’t do.  In our relationship, we talk to each other with respect & love!

Ok that’s it God, I’m mad now!   Lord I’ve been going thr0ugh hell trying to find a place to live & I’m done!  I don’t bother you by asking for a new Lexus or 1 million dollars.  I give, give, give & now it’s my turn to receive!  Luke 6:38 says, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Jacob 32:22-31 talks about Jacob wrestling with God (some versions say it was the Gabriel the angel).  In verse 26, Jacob was told to let him go, & Jacob replied “I will not let you go unless you bless me!”  Just like Jacob, I refused to give up until God blessed me!

Not long after my prayer, my wife text me & said “baby I found one more house, if you don’t mind calling to see if it’s available & go look at it.”  I said ok.  I went by looked at, liked it, it was actually available, we put in our application & were approved!  The house meets ALL our needs & a few wants too!

God wants to bless us!  He said so in John 10:10 “I come that you may have life, & have it abundantly”!  If you invest in something, go to work every day, or let someone borrow money, you expect something in return.  If you’re in a relationship where you give 110% & your significant other only gives 10%, that’s not a smart investment.

You have to stand firm & demand your blessing! Speak it into the universe what you need!  The Law of Attraction is true.   See, I was speaking my needs but I was speaking it to people.  I had everyone helping me find a home and it wasn’t working because I thought the Law of Attraction meant telling you what I needed and you knowing someone who knows someone who knows her and she can fix my problem.  That’s not faith, that’s luck.  I should have been saying it with confidence and faith in God not in luck.

 If you give it, if you speak it, you’ll receive it!  ~MelodyLeann

Givers get given to. ~ Russell Simmons

Genius is the ability to receive from the universe.  ~ I Ching

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.
~ Dr Martin Luther King Jr.


Posted in food, Health and Fitness, life, Uncategorized

I’m Tired of Being Fat!


I am sick and tired of being FAT!  I’m sick of not feeling attractive, to myself!  When I look in the mirror I want to look like a woman my spouse would be proud to walk down the street with.  She has always told me I’m beautiful and she has no problem with my weight.  It’s not like I was skinny when she met me.  The problem is ME!  I have a problem with MY weight.  So what do I do about it, because whining isn’t working?

January 3rd 2016, I set out on a LIFESTYLE change.  I don’t like to say diet because I have never stuck to one.  So, if I change my lifestyle, I won’t need a diet.  I won’t need a diet because eating healthier & working out will be a way of life for me.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?!  According to , a habit is an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.

By changing my habits I don’t have to struggle with staying on a diet or drag myself to the gym when I really don’t want to be there.  My wants/needs will  change automatically. It’s like writing your name, you’ve done it so many times you don’t have to think about it.  You just do it!  If you get in the habit of making healthy choices it becomes part of your life, it’s not a habit anymore.

Here are a few things I have changed.

  1. I drink water instead of sugar filled beverages.
  2. I refuse to give up my morning coffee. So, I use Splenda instead of sugar.
  3. When grocery shopping, I don’t go hungry.  If you go to the store hungry, you’re more likely to pick up a candy bar than an apple.
  4. I cook every night instead of going out to eat.  It is easier in the beginning stages of your lifestyle change to eat healthy at home because if you go out to eat and start looking at all those delicious burgers and fries, you are going to order one and feel guilty later.
  5. My workout is in my daily routine.  Everyday when I get home from work, I use the bathroom, change into my workout clothes and head to the living room for my workout session.  EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I’m going in to the third month of my lifestyle change and it is going great!  I have lost 21 pounds and counting.  I honestly don’t think about the changes my family and I have made because it is a part of our everyday lives.  I can enjoy my coffee, go grocery shopping and not make impulsive decisions, when I go out to eat I instantly look for the healthy section on the menu, and I love working out!  Working out allows me to burn off the stress of my day because I make it fun.  I may play Just Dance on the Wii or do Yoga.

I’ve learned what is working for me and against me in my life.  I remind myself that whatever I choose to eat now, I have to work off when I get home.  Make it easy on yourself.  Each individual has to make the decision in their own life as to what is important to them.  My health is important to me, that’s why I changed my lifestyle.  I’m tired of being fat but I’m enjoying being healthy!



Posted in Uncategorized

MY Way. Your Way.

I am the type of person that respects everyone for who they are, what they are… everything about them. If I don’t like what you do, who you do, or anything of that nature, that’s none of my business unless it brings harm to myself or my loved ones.  With that being said, your sexuality who you lay down with at night, who you wake up to in the morning, has no bearing on me. I have no right to tell you who to love, what to love, and how to love. If that’s who you love, if that’s what you love, and that’s how you love it, so be it, enjoy yourself.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend, I was telling them that during the holidays I don’t do well.  I get depressed & it’s just not a good time for me.  They proceeded to ask me why then says, “Oh never mind, I know why.”  Silly me, I thought they knew I was sad because my parents are deceased. Well, that wasn’t the case.

They proceed to tell me that my problem is that I am in conflict with myself as to what is right and wrong in God’s eyes. I said “excuse me I don’t follow you, I’m not understanding what you’re talking about.”  I guess it caught me of guard because I didn’t see our conversation taking this turn.   They go on to say that my lifestyle is an abomination in God’s eyes and that I need to change and pretty much getting in a relationship with a man and get married!  A few months ago this same friend & I had a discussion about what the Bible said, what they believed, & they told me that they love me despite being a lesbian.  So, this “change of heart” caught me of guard.

I’ve been gay all my life, that’s been no secret to myself & since I decided to be true to myself (come out of the closet) I’m able to see the beauty of life.  I believe it was harder for everyone around me to accept the truth because, as far as they knew, I LOVED men.  Hell, I was even engaged to a man!

I’ve grown up in the church all my life, I have a relationship with God, I’m at peace with who I am as a lesbian, & as a person  over all. Everything is good, I’m in a solid relationship, I’m happy, successful, & I have everything that I need and have always wanted.  How can God hate a relationship where I am striving for the best, I am healthy and happy, how can he hate that?


I’m a very nice person, really I am, I have a good heart but when you push me to the edge I don’t jump off, I come back swinging!  So, I let my friend know that I understand their views and I respect their views but I will not allow them to judge me & pick me apart because they have an issue with how I live MY life. These “Christians” who have conflicts with Who I am, that is their problem, not mine!  I’m good over here.  They need to work on their issues & not  worry about what’s going on in my household!  Now, if someone wants to be in my life, & I allow them to be in my life, they need to understand I will not stand for ridicule, nor will I stand for being under a microscope because they think I’m in conflict.  What’s going on in my life has nothing to do with their belief system.